Oh aren't weekends lovely? You wouldn't think for a mom with five little kids and distance learning a weekend would make much difference. But it does. We work hard around here during the week. I get those babies down for naps and we hit it. Well, at least I do. There is just so much to do. I think often of Downton Abbey and how all those servants and people are busy prepping meals, cleaning the rooms, doing the dishes, etc. And now look how far we've come. Now there's just me.
The to-do list that we've been doing for the kids the last few weeks has been a game-changer. It is sooooo helpful. I know many a homeschool mom recommended doing that right away and I should have. It's just sometimes even if you know something will be good and helpful implementing it takes brainpower. And sometimes mine is all done used up.
So as I was saying weekends are ahhhhh. I let the kids play video games (speaking of losing brain cells). And video games... man they get a bad rap. Currently, video games bring peace. Video games is what is allowing me to write this right now. The other Sunday I got the babies down, kids playing and I did some deep cleaning around here. Ripped my whole entryway/mudroom area up. So much dirt. Like moved the bench, took out the rugs, cleaned behind my washing machine kinda cleaning. Then the other day I vacuumed under my bed. Moved my dressers cleaned everything out. So much dust.
I'm almost eleven years into this married life/on my own thing and while sometimes I feel like I have got this adult thing down, I also feel like sometimes I have such a long way to go. Our current home is by far the nicest place we've lived together and I'm realizing keeping things nice is such hard work. It is so easy to buy new nice things instead of having older things that work well and are clean. I didn't even realize how much respect I should have for older people with clean and tidy homes on just that fact alone. If you want nice things it takes hard work.
We have a Sunsetter retractable awning (anybody else remember seeing commercials for those things?). I didn't think that much of it when we moved in but it is go. (It is go? That don't make no sense. But we like it!) Our outdoor space under that awning is where we've been eating all our meals. The dining room table has been taken over by kids and art supplies. Anyways, back to the awning. I cleaned it the other day. Like scrubbed the grime and dirt off the bottom and the posts and stuff. It was hard work. But it looked so much nicer after, almost brand new! Recently it's just really been clicking in my head - you want a nice home? you want nice things? Clean them and keep them nice. Rocket science I'm telling you.
People with older clean things probably put in a ton of work to maintain and keep those things nice. And here's foolish little me had no clue. Completely oblivious to how much work it takes to be a successful adult and homemaker.
The other day we went on a family walk/bike ride. Asa and I got split up from the rest of the group so we rode home by ourselves. He had no idea how to get home. But I did. I didn't even need to think about it. I just knew from being and driving on our streets a million times. He asked me how I knew how to get home and I said something brilliant like "well Asa, I'm big and I just know." He's approximately thirty years younger than me. Makes me wonder what things I'm oblivious to, that people thirty years older than me know without thinking? It's probably retirement stuff.
A friend of mine gave me a book that I'm not supposed to be able to put down. I'm really excited to read it but I've got a mental to-do list of things I have to get done before I'll allow myself to read it. One was to get a photo album made. I've got to keep pounding those things out. Louisa loves to look through those things and she's only in ONE of them! So I'm glad I got our South Dakota trip done from last year and now I'm inspired to keep making them. Once Micah's not working this summer hopefully I'll have a little more free time than an hour in the evenings and whenever I choose to melt my children's brains with screen time.
Another thing I had to do was blog. Checking that off the list if I can finish this one out. I really enjoy blogging. I would do it more but often when I have the inspiration I don't have the time and when I have the time I don't have the inspiration. The struggle.
Speaking of struggles, this weekend - here comes something dramatic... I removed the Facebook app from the home screen of my phone. I know how foolish that sounds. Yes, I can still get to it from my phone, I didn't delete it off my phone. But I did make it way harder to get too. I've been in a pretty bad place mentally these last few days (or months, whatev). I need to get away. So I'm making a really conscious effort to stay off of Facebook. My big take away is to be on less and share stories more. There you have it. On less. Share more. Makes sense right?
Quick recap on the babies. Six months we made it. Kendall's got a tooth and is still swaddled in her bed. She just does not roll over on her own. When she starts rolling over, believe me, we'll get her outta that swaddle but she's just not there yet. Lily, no teeth. Unswaddled. Sleeping in her Zippadee Zip, which I swear by. She's rolling and wiggling all over her crib. They've both been really hungry lately. Last week I had to blow through my tiny frozen milk supply because they were just hungry. I think it's because I got my period maybe (my cycle is weird if you remember, tmi sorry) which made me have less milk or something. The last night or two have been better so I think we're on the way up. Plus I have an amazing friend (you know who you are) who is helping me with that. So I think we'll be ok there.
I've also been going down a country road, musically, lately. Darius Rucker and Keith Urban are as far as I go. But It Won't Be Like This For Long made me sob in the middle of the day the other day. Oh, one more thing... I should write this down too. How do I say this positively... I don't know if I can. The babies have been taking horrible afternoon naps lately. Lily has this cry that sounds like a siren. It is just the worst angry noise ever. And Micah and I, we both just love those babies so much. But there have been a few days this past week that have taken us both to such a dark place. The rage. It is such a strange phenomenon. Does it have a name? The rage and anger you feel when your babies won't stop crying? Somehow all the sympathy and care you have goes away, ugh it's ugly. We've talked through it. I've gone outside, gotten fresh air. We're gonna be ok. But we've been there this week.
One more thing, I can't end on that. I've just had a ton of respect for older people and all the things many of them have gone through during their lives. I feel like I have seen nothing difficult in my thirty years compared to someone who was born in the 1900's. And now that I find myself and our world dealing with catastrophes I'm wondering, how did they deal? how did they cope? They survived and somehow had us and here I am. Grateful, thankful, hashtag blessed.
Weep with those who weep (Romans 12:15), love one another as I have loved you (John 15:12), love your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:31) and the Lord is near to the broken-hearted (Psalm 34:18).
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