It's a Weird World

Let me just start by saying I don't know how many times I have thought... at least I don't homeschool.

I almost just wanna leave it at that. But you know I won't. So many times I have been struggling and thought boy I'm glad I'm not homeschooling on top of this or it could be worse - I could be homeschooling, at least I can get a break while the kids are at school, etc. 

Now I have many friends that are amazing homeschool moms and I seriously don't know how you do it. You are amazing. PLEASE don't take me not wanting to homeschool my kids in any way as a knock against you and what works and is best for your family. You do you. And for reference, I was homeschooled like my whole life. So I know what it's like. I grew up in a homeschooling family. But it wasn't for me. 

Anyways I've been dying to get some of my thoughts out. There are so many things that I want to write about, like the baby's birth story!! And not even for you, I want to just write it down for myself so I don't forget. But I like to write about today. Which is a problem because I don't have time to write about today. I start writing about today and the next thing you know it's tomorrow and today was really three yesterdays ago. So then my post is a big ol mess and I never post anything. But I'll try to piece this all together and get through this anyways. 

Monday on our first day of really trying to homeschool I did all the things. I wore something cute, cleaned myself up, made my bed, kids did their chores, everyone got dressed, the kids were so excited to start school at home. We were flying. I had so much I wanted to accomplish and get done. I even made dinner. Like brown hamburger, peel and cut potatoes for a hotdish kind of dinner. Annnd you know what's coming. That night I broke down. I had done way too much. It was so hard. I was so exhausted. 

Tuesday I had no expectations. I put on the shirt that I found laying on the floor as I got out of bed and wore that for the day. I didn't make my bed, the kids still did their chores and got dressed. If we got some school done, great. If we didn't, oh well. 

Wednesday we finally seemed to land on a nice balance. Somewhere between not wearing dirty clothes off the floor and not completely overworking myself with unrealistic expectations. Lincoln has about three hours of schoolwork per day that he could do and I've got about an hour of time to fit it in. So I'm kind of struggling to prioritize what we should really be working on. In the meantime, I'm really trying to nail some things into him. His handwriting is terrible. Crazy sloppy. Louisa's handwriting doesn't look much different. So I think my goal with the distance learning thing is to try to really nail down some of the basics that he should know and do what a teacher with thirty kids doesn't have time to do. If that makes any sense. Like really drill his sight words, drill his number facts, handwriting, etc. 

We're slowly but surely finding our new rhythms. Around 9 am is when the babies go down for their first nap so once they go down that's when the real work starts. I've got about an hour to get work done with the kids. The first week we were home - before we had all our school materials and instructions from their teachers - we still kept a similar schedule. We would watch the boys' principles morning announcements and we did the Doodle with Mo. Which was wonderful. I have actually loved the drawing and painting and creative things we've done. I never get the chance to do things like that anymore and it really brings me back to all my art classes from college. Anyways, now that we have school work and instructions we don't have time to waste watching doodles and saying the pledge of allegiance.

And now that we're a couple weeks into this for the first time it's starting to feel normal. Which is weird. But normal. I think every day we're adjusting a little bit more. I still can't believe we're doing this. I mean we know that we don't know what tomorrow's going to bring but who would have ever guessed this?!

In baby news, they are as cute as ever. I can not tell you how thankful I am to have them. I know it's slightly overwhelming being home with five kids (three big kids and two babies) with a husband working in the basement. But I wouldn't trade not having those babies. They are the best distraction from all of this. And goodness they love being at home. What baby doesn't!? This couldn't have come at a better time for them. To be honest, I'm not even sure if they understand what's going. I'm kidding. Of course, they don't understand what's going on. And I think that's what so refreshing about them. I lay on the floor and play with them and they don't know a thing. They don't wanna talk about what's going on they just want you to smile and coo at them. It's nice talking to someone who's oblivious to any problems or troubles.

But speaking of problems and troubles... we're going to have to drop their swaddles soon. Lily is so close to rolling over. Kendall's not really close at all but I know the sooner they stop sleeping in their swaddles the better. And I LOVE the Zippadee Zip swaddle transition. But I hate rocking the boat. They've been sleeping sooo good these days (I mean obviously. I wouldn't have the brainpower to write this if they weren't). We don't have school this Friday or Monday so I'm hoping to attempt, at least for Lily, to give up the swaddle then because Micah will be around to help me deal with the bad naps. Wish us luck. 

I usually don't ask you questions when I write because I mean you can't really respond. But... how are you doing? I'd love it if you told me. I'm sure we've all had our ups and downs during these weird days. I've been riding the waves of my emotions through this process. One particular evening when I was feeling ya know, like a terrible failure Micah said something that I immediately typed down. Of course, I was probably complaining about something and he said "Honey sometimes doing a good job doesn't equal things going well" and man that struck me. You can be doing the best job you possibly could and that doesn't mean that things are going to go smoothly. So hang in there.

Weird World you're welcome.