Let's talk about the most magical time of the day. 2-3pm. So wonderful. Babes are down for their naps. Louisa is napping/reading books in her room. And I'm sitting here like I AM THE GREATEST MOTHER OF ALL TIME drinking coke and eating chocolate cake.
You don't need to remind me, I am so lucky. Yeah two babies and aaaallllllll these kids is difficult but I know I have it sooo good. So whenever you hear me complaining, know that I know. I know and feel so fortunate. I wanna say I'm blessed but #blessed seems so overused these days, it's kinda lost it's meaning.
This is the first time I've had a baby without working. And for that I say ha-lay-lou-yer! Trying to work/work from home with a baby was so stressful. Sometimes it works yes, but I'm telling you it was always like "you have GOT to nap now or else!" because I have work I've gotta do. I always wanted to prove that I could do it. That I was still a professional, that I wouldn't fall behind, that I was dependable. All my fears about working, staying relevant with design, and being hirable when my babies go to school are still there but I've had to just give it up. I'm choosing not to listen to them. And I've realized I'm not a failure if I'm not a graphic designer. Simple as that.
Somehow I bought into the idea that once you pick a career you've got to stick with it. That it would be so foolish to invest time and money into something and then change your mind and do something else. Anyways this is a rabbit trail. My point is I'm happy with where I am. I've been at this mom gig for eight years now and it's a very valuable use of my time.
I started following a couple fashion mom blogger type ladies on instagram. We'll see how long it lasts, I like to follow people for a certain amount of time and then unfollow them when they get to be too much.
This sounds simple enough but I really want to be the person I want to be. So that's what I'm working towards. Being the person that I want to be. I don't usually ask questions on here because I know you can't really respond but what kind of person do you want to be? Are you that person? I always have this inner struggle of wanting to stand out but also wanting to fit in at the same time. I want to dress cool and hip and cute buuuutt I also don't want to look weird and make people uncomfortable here in northern Minnesota. Random thoughts I know.
We've been dreaming of Hawaii lately. Again, with the tug of war I love my cozy home and the safety and security it brings and I just want to have this house for the rest of my life. Buuuut I also DON'T want to be here for the rest of my life. I wanna move to Hawaii. Why not? The source of this is, remember I watched Lost all summer. Well that was filmed in Hawaii, which lead me to start watching Hawaii Hunters, an HGTV show, so now Micah and I have been "going" to Hawaii every evening after we get the kids to bed. It's just short twenty minute episodes, and that's about all we can handle at this point in our lives.
My husband has camper fever. Is that a thing? We dream of just packing up and living in a school bus that has been converted to a camper. Ok, that school bus thing is mostly his idea, but the adventure still sounds fun - as long as I can come back to my house when we're done. Last night we realized that the 2028 Olympics are in LA. Of course, we love California and I've been dreaming of taking my kids there. Why can't we just live on the beach all summer? Anyways, our new plan is to go to the Olympics. The twins will be eight then. Why can't we just road trip down there, camp on a beach somewhere and then make it to some sort of Olympic event? That's the dream.
I know this isn't what you're here for. You want baby stuff. All people want is baby stuff. But that's not what's coming out at the moment. You don't know how many half blog posts I write and never post. Here's a great excerpt from last week that didn't get finished:
----------
We have so many kids. And it is exhausting.
I've got nothing good to say about January. Has anything good ever happened in January? I'm thinking back throughout my life... and I don't know. Yeah yeah I can think of a few great people born in January and that's great but seriously January is always rough. And this has actually been a good one so far compared to others in the past!
Our babies are so precious and so beautiful. But then they grow up to be big kids with relentless annoying questions and kids who get sick and moan when your sympathy is all used up and girls who literally will not leave your side I NEED A BREAK LOUISA! I've been thinking of having a breakdown and crying but I honestly just don't have the energy.
--------
Ah good times. I need to write down the babies birth story. That's what I need to write next and I need to do it asap. They're ten weeks old now and I can feel my memories slipping away.
Comments
Post a Comment