Two Babies and a C-Section

I've got a big ol' to-do list of things we wanna get done before the babies come. Micah saw that I had "blog" on this list. Ya know, it'd be nice to at least get one more in before I never have time anymore. But he goes "Oh with all you've been feeling lately that one should be easy!" And I'm like "No! I don't want to write about being a nut case every time!".

We have gotten SO much done on our house. So many projects done, especially for us. We painted the entire basement expect for the bathroom, built bunkbeds (from scratch), added curtains and blinds everywhere, painted the boys old room, trim and closet, painted two sets of bunk beds. I guess those are the main things but we are usually not that productive when it comes to home projects. Oh plus I cleaned and organized our entire furnace/storage room, getting rid of five years of boys clothes!

I would love to take pictures and show you, maybe when I can bend and actually pick things up off the floor. I don't feel like things have to be perfect in order to show them online (obviously) but when we've worked so hard to make things look nice, it'd be nice to actually show them looking nice. I don't enjoy telling people (and by people I mean my husband and kids) what to do. But that's what it's coming to because so many things I can't do myself anymore. Even all the kids know "you can't bend down because there's babies in your belly".

I feel myself slowing down. It's a very strange out of body type experience. I mean, I am definitely in this body, no question about that, but it's not the body I'm used to. When I sit down I can feel my belly resting on my legs/lap. Or when I sit on the couch or bed I can feel my belly against the bed! Like the bottom of my belly should never be "feeling things" but it sure is. Everything from here on out is uncharted territory for me. Up until now I've been measuring around full term if I had one baby. So nothing that I haven't felt before. But now I'm measuring at 41, 42+ weeks. I have never been this big. Thank goodness for the size extra large shirts I bought on clearance this summer. They say you wear the same size maternity clothes that you normally wear. Not that case here my friends, I have been through the entire gammit of sizes with this pregnancy.

I found out this week that my abs have split apart. A three finger split. I suppose I knew that was going to happen. I have friends that that has happened too. But I guess I was just hoping if I was somehow careful it wouldn't or maybe since I'm tall it wouldn't. So naturally I took an afternoon/evening to basically think about nothing else and feel sorry for myself. Not to be a crazy person, but I love doing sit ups and crunches. Working on my abs has always been one of my favorite things to do when I work out.  I hear there are special excersizes I can do that will fix them, maybe?

I know this is what I signed up for but I guess I just didn't think this would happen. I can't remember if I've complained about this yet but I was so ready to go into this last pregnancy with so much confidence. And maybe I'm still doing fine. I really probably am actually. But this was the time I was going to be confident, to know what I'm doing, to not be scared. And now here I am staring at so much unknown and never done. This is not at all what I had planned. TWO BABIES plus a C-SECTION. I didn't see this coming. I guess now's my real chance to really go into something bravely. And like really be brave. Not just being brave because I've been there done that.

I suppose I should mention, I have a c-section scheduled for Nov 27th. Both my little babies are breech. Having babies just gets easier and easier, right? Labor just gets faster and faster, right? Ending on a c-section never entered my mind. Never. But yet here I am. And it's interesting I keep hearing story after story of other women who's birth's didn't go as expected. Long drawn out labors and THEN suddenly ending in emergency c-sections. Read this post by Shawn Johnson, an Olympic gold medalist gymnast for crying out loud! Really starts to make me feel a little thankful that if I do indeed have to go that route, at last I've had this long too mentally prepare for it. I can't be ashamed of it. I can't feel like a cop out, although those have been the first things in my mind.

I'm doing all the things to try to flip them in the meantime but I've talked to a couple Dr's and midwives, and they weren't too optimistic at this point.

I'm swearing off jeans for the next two months at least. I'm currently rotating between a pair of black yoga pants and black leggings. And have no intention of wearing anything else. Well, I mean besides my XL gray sweatpants in the evenings of course. I would pack all my jeans away but alas they're laying in a pile on the floor in my room next to the dress I wore to church two weeks ago. The maid has been out, obviously.



P.S. WHAT is going on with my background? I don't have time for this. Sorry for the stupid cat photos, if you see them like I do, I have no idea what's happening.