Better Life

Ok, so here's my really exciting news. I've been wanting to post about this for months. But sometimes when you've got really exciting news you can't really think of a good way of sharing it, so you just end up doing nothing. I think that's what happens to people when they don't announce their pregnancies. Like you're friends with someone on Facebook and then like randomly they post that they had another baby. Or they get tagged in a photo and there are two more kids in the picture. And you're like What?! How did that just happen! I didn't even know you were pregnant! Do you NOT know how Facebook works!? I understand some people want like privacy or whatever. ; ) No offense to anyone that did that. I'm just rambling. ; )

ANYways, I am not pregnant. Or nursing. And that is why we've got to do something. Micah's mom has been saying for years now that for our 10th anniversary she'd watch the kids for us to go somewhere. Like more than just one night. Well anyways, it was back in November I think, we got to thinking. That we might like to have another baby someday... We've currently been married for 8.5 years. Around year 10, we might be pregnant, nursing an infant, or have a baby too young that we wouldn't want to leave. But right now... we don't. Louisa is almost two. This will be the biggest age gap between our kids (if we have another)... maybe we should look into going on a trip.

So we started doing some research. Ok, mostly me. I started doing some research and I told Micah all about it every night. The first thing we did was talk to some of our friends that always seem to be traveling. And guess what, they had amazing advice! They pointed us to a credit card that would give us 60,000 airline miles just for signing up. Now, I really had no idea what that even meant. What is the ratio of airline miles to dollars? What's the ratio of Schrute bucks to unicorns? I had no idea. So we've learned a lot. And the bottom line is, we're going to be flying for free! Well, basically. We had to pay the $95 yearly credit card fee, and then our flights had like $20 each of fees. So we're both flying for $135 bucks, round trip. That changes everything. So many times I've started to look into trips/vacations and tacking like $1200 onto the trip just to get there kills it every time.

So once we knew we could fly somewhere for free we started looking into what we wanted to do. After a couple days of brainstorming, we decided on a cruise. In the Carribean.

Here's where we're headed!

And that launches me into another rabbit trail. We never really went on a honeymoon. We were still in college when we got married. I had a semester left and Micah had a year. He was taking a summer class and could only miss one day of class without failing. We got married on a Friday night and he went to class that morning. We spent two nights in the Cities and then right back to summer school and work. And it's pretty much been like that ever since. We just have always had school, classes, work, responsibilities, rent + security deposit, bills, etc. We honestly couldn't afford the time or money to go anywhere. We've never spent more than two nights away our whole married lives. Even before we had kids.

And I don't forget things. Micah doesn't really remember all that. But I do. I know we've never gone on a honeymoon. And if we don't do it. I'm gonna be one of those bitter old ladies that never got to have a dream. Ok, maybe not that. But I've definitely been worried I'd turn into George Bailey from It's a Wonderful Life. You know, he has all these big dreams but then is responsible, has a family and watches all his friends travel the world. Yeah, I've been there.

Honestly, I've been in some not good places about that. Probably like four-ish years ago I unfollowed a bunch of friends on Facebook after they posted their honeymoon/trip photos. I just was not in a good place. I couldn't be happy for them. It hurt. I was poor and stuck at home with my two little boys. I really do think I had some postpartum depression after Asa was born. But didn't realize it till after. And it's amazing to see the difference when you've come out of that tunnel. I follow several travel bloggers on Instagram now (I think I've refollowed all of my friends). And I love it. Take me away. I go on so many trips with them, I love it. Post more photos! And there is no way I could have handled that a few years ago. Isn't that strange.

We found a really reasonable deal on a cruise, we booked it, and we're GOING!!! Ok, well first we had to double, double, double check with our parents that they were ok with taking the kids for that long before we booked. I'm feeling some serious anxiety about leaving these kids. I love them so much. And if something happens to us while we're gone, I will never forgive myself. That's the hard thing about traveling after you have kids. It's not that you can't do it. But you have to leave huge pieces of your heart behind. When my mind starts going down that road of "what will happen if..." Ugh, it's enough to make me never do anything.

Packing and planning has been a bit surreal. Before we were married Micah and I both said that we loved to travel (see photos below). And I was NOT the type of person to just, not go on a honeymoon. I remember going shopping with my mom and my sister shortly after we were married and I bought this pretty dress, to wear on the cruise we were thinking about. But, of course, it never happened. I got rid of the dress a few years ago, it's out of style now, and when will I ever really get a chance to go on a cruise. I felt so foolish.

So yeah, going through this all now, it's hard for me to believe that it might really happen. We keep seeing Carnival cruise commercials while we're watching the Olympics (that's the ship we're going on!). We were packing last night and one came on and I just screamed! I can't believe this is really happening.

The good ol' days. Look at those skinny kids

Santa Barbara, CA

I leave you... with Keith Urban.