Just another night

Here I am feeling behind again. I wish I had more time. I say that all the time. But when I get more time, I end up wasting it. 

I've been blessed with several evenings to myself this week. -When I say evenings I mean the time between 9:00 and 11:00 pm. -And when I say blessed I pretty much mean that sarcastically. Micah's been away several nights at a conference and is now away at the annual Hobbit guys night marathon. So here I sit. In front of this obnoxiously bright light. I'm trying it out. As much as I hate to say this I feel those winter blues coming on again. I don't remember the last time I've seen the sun or even the sky. Is it still blue? Is it still there? I don't know. So I'm sitting in front of this light, we'll see if it helps.

Micah being gone has been hard. Last night I found myself upset at him and saying ridiculous things. Hurtful things. It was terrible. He is such a good husband, dad, teacher, he works so hard. And there I was complaining and being selfish. And what's worse is I knew I was being that way, but somehow couldn't help the way I felt. Man, emotions are hard things to control sometimes.

Speaking of controlling things, children. Children are hard to control. Lincoln has been up, oh like 20 times since I put him to bed 2 hours ago. Pretty much every other sentence as I write this. Are you kidding me Lincoln!? How can I get anything done when every 5-10 minutes I'm taking that boy to go potty. I am in a constant state of interruption. And how is it possible to go potty every 5 minutes?!

Anyways, we've had some good things happen this month, I'm sure of it. I had a Moms night out last weekend. That was wonderful and so encouraging. We even went to a movie last week. So before you start feeling sorry for me let me stop you. I don't have it that bad. But somehow we all can find things to be unhappy about.

Excuse me while I run a little boy to the bathroom again.

And again.

Again.

And again.

This is not by any means a typical nights behavior. This is probably the most he's ever been up. It's 11:30 at night for crying out loud. I had to resort to warn him, if he gets up again, he'll have to get a spanking. Well he continued to get up.. so he got a spanking (nothing too terrible by any means).

And this happened several times. Finally, I just brought him into my room, looked him in the eyes and said "Lincoln why do you keep getting up? Do you like getting spankings!?" He looks up at me all sad and nods his head yes. I'm like "Yes?! You DO like getting spankings!?" He starts to tear up and nods his head yes again. "Lincoln WHY do you you want a spanking?" "Because I just have to go potty all the time." he says as big ol tears stream down his face. Agh the poor thing. My heart just melts for him. It was so adorable. Oh to be a three year old. I have no idea what it's like.

Imagine, having to go potty all the time. It must be tough. It's so hard being a parent and knowing the right time to be stern and the right time to be compassionate. I don't want to be a pushover, he can't continue to disobey. But knowing the balance of being stern with grace is such a challenge. Especially while a cute little boy is sitting on a potty chair. I need to read more parenting books. Or maybe just one would help. But then we're back to that time thing again.

Thanks Lincoln for hijacking my post. And once again I'm talking about potty. Anyways, in case you were wondering Micah, forgave me for the things I said. And has such a wonderfully mind blowingly bad memory when it comes to my shortcomings, he's probably forgotten about it already. I don't deserve him.

Well, it's now been about 20 minutes since I've hear either one of my boys. So I'm taking that as a cue to get to bed. Thanks for listening to my rants. Praying for some much needed family time tomorrow. Praise the Lord for Saturdays.

Good night world.

Sometimes I just can't believe how cute he is.

What a group.

This boy has a passion for shoveling.